Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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