sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
