I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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