Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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