you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize