Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
