Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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