I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
