I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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