Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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