I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
