that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
