I'd wear matching sweaters with you
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'd cum for enchiladas.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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