Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we have pet lesbian snakes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
