I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
