whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
