Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sex in a hospital.. check
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
