i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
