i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize