My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
