You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
