Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
