I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Non-Jews are for practice
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize