im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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