so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
