Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
