just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
