we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
