oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
