Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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