He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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