Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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