Just took my morning after pill in the library
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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