Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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