this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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