a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
