I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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