i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
