Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is my gift to your gina
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
