He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
