Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize