is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
