anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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