Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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