I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
