I love black thongs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
