i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please, let me fuck your mom
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
