sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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