i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
