5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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