He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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