Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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