im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
