Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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