grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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