yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize