If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
