i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
