Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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