Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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