You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
