is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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