people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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