we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
